Something I struggle with is fragmenting based on the people I am with.
Every person has a variety of interests and opinions and stories within them. Depending on whose company they are in, the person will express those parts at different volumes.
My love of movies, sharing useless trivia, my religious and spiritual exploration, my art and design criticism, my perpetual fight with depression, the fun I have baking for others, smart jokes, stupid jokes, sarcastic jokes, life disappointments, my social/political despair, geeking out over tech, my LEGO collection, internal philosophical debates over the food industry, the deep hurt I feel over age-long friendships randomly and suddenly ending, my musical tastes, worry/knowledge that I’m not a good enough partner or parent or family member or friend or coworker…
My internal conflict is not when I should turn the volume up or down on any of these depending on who I am with, but whether I should entirely mute them. All of these facets are there at all times but I feel compelled to hide most of them from the majority of people I know, including people I consider close. I perpetually feel I am at risk of oversharing when I talk about myself at all. I am convinced they do not want to know the whole of me.
Am I protecting me, if I restrict access to the majority of these facets to only those who have the highest clearance? Or am I compromising the integrity of me, splintering who I am, pretending to be someone I am not?
Am I missing out, or being dishonest, by not being the entirety of me?